Overheard while high

My mom (with total sincerity): Legal weed in New Jersey isn't a big deal for Princeton anyway, none of you would EVER do that.

3 0

Overheard in my living room

Me: *deep in personal conversation about the meaning of friendship*

Invested Friend: I know you're talking about something, but I kind of want to post an Instagram right now.

0 0

Overheard in Precept after Election

Preceptor: Today we're just going to look at German memes.

0 0

Overheard in Conservative Neighborhood

Optimistic Dem to neighborhood full of Trump Flags: Halloween is over y'all. You can stop scaring the children now.

Dad: What children?

Optimistic Dem: Me, I'm the children.

0 0

Overheard on my doorstep

Disenfranchised international student: I'm all for capitalism, but I can't abide by Las Vegas.

0 2

Overheard in Medieval Studies Course

Grad Student: Most priests back then couldn't have gotten into the Ph.d program in classics at Princeton.

Professor: Lucky for them

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Overheard in Seminar

Tenured English Professor: Last time I dressed up for Halloween, I dressed up as the devil and shoved this dude over the railing.

0 0

Overheard in Seminar

German Professor: To talk about sado-masochism in this book is like talking about aquatic mammals in Moby Dick.

0 0

Overheard in the Living Room

Fool #1: This flavor kind of sucks.

Fool #2: I don't vape for the flavor, just the clout.

0 3

Overheard during procrastinating delirium

Sister 1, scrolling through insta: My phone is literally the devil.

Sister 2, panic reading Vitoria: Which is why mine is in time out.

0 1

Overheard at Home

Girl writing last minute essay: Did you know Thomas Edison electrocuted an elephant just to get the point across that alternating current is dangerous? I hate smart people. They're so dumb.

0 0

Overheard at the Dinner Table

Sophomore on lawn parties: I mean, what kind of artist has to remind the audience that they're in the song at the start of each one?

Sister: D.J. Khalid. Because that's the only memorable part of his songs.

0 0

Overheard in LAS Seminar

Student: The guy who funded Pinochet's coup was also a dedicated yachtsman.

Leftist Professor: Man of many talents!

0 0

Overheard in Guest Lecture

Journalist: I don't understand how science works.

0 1

Overheard in Oregon

Bubbe, I don't think there is going to be a lot of Election Day violence in Long Island.

1 0

Overheard in Chaucer Class

I would rather suffocate on circus peanuts than eat candy corn.

0 0

Overheard while bra shopping

Self-hating English major, to another self-hating English major: You've come up with such creative ways to hate your body.

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Overheard in the Kitchen

Boy eating a subpar ice cream sandwich: It doesn't make me sick, it just makes me sad.

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Overheard on Instagram

English Major: Don't worry. I deal with garbage for a living.

0 0

Overheard in Philadelphia

Disillusioned junior: My daily Flintstone Vitamins are the only consistent thing in my life.

0 0

Overheard on Instagram

Overactive Imagination after listening to orchestra piece: I just spent ten minutes of my life creating a war story for a depressed fly.

0 0

Overheard in Quarantined House

Gemini: I love taking things too far, it's my favorite hobby.

0 0

Overheard in GSS Seminar

Student on Elite References in classes: I thought everyone here would be smart and I was wrong.

2 0

Overheard Studying

SPIA Major, getting ready for midterm: Damn, Kim Jong-un is one fat fuck.

2 0

Overheard in Quarantine

Sophomore dude, studying: I really think I was meant to be a 60's housewife.

0 1